How to gain influence at work

Do you have a great idea and feel like no one is hearing you? Are you frustrated by being talked over or feel ignored? You likely need to step into your power and influence. This can feel daunting, however you can become more influential in your workplace utilizing a bit of science, principles of marketing, and strategic communication. 

Mitigate Self-Limiting Beliefs

Teresa de Grosbois, author of Mass Influence says in her Ted Talk that “The further you are from home, the smarter people think you are.”  Think about someone you knew when they were a toddler. You might picture them as learning how to walk. In reality, that was over 10 years ago and they now want to borrow your car. We sometimes do this to ourselves, keeping an image of us before we knew what we were doing.  Unburdened by memories of your “pre-expert” learning curves, other people are able to see who you are in the moment, which is an expert in your field. That’s why you’re in the room in the first place. However, you knew yourself before you were an expert, which means it's sometimes hard to see yourself for who you are now, with years of experience and maybe some hard earned degrees.  

Self doubt and self limiting beliefs hinder your ability to step into your expertise. The stories you tell yourself and the stories we were told at some point in our lives are often our true limitation. I have a CEO coaching client who is her harshest critic. If anyone challenges her thinking, she assumes the other person must think she’s incompetent or that they believe they could do a better job in the CEO’s role. She’s brilliant but the story she continues to tell herself feeds into her insecurities/vulnerabilities, impacting her ability to lead. 

What stories are you telling yourself that make you doubt your expertise? How are you furthering your expertise while also demonstrating that credibility to others? Hiring a promoter with a megaphone to follow you around and introduce you might not be the most financially (and feasible!) viable option. However, you can be your own ambassador.  Attend that conference and share what you're learning. Put those diplomas on your wall. Find mentors you admire and ask them about their expertise. You are a competent powerful person who got yourself this far. Stop with the negative self talk. Would you talk to anyone else the way you talk to yourself? If you did, would it be helpful? 

Establish Credibility and Connections

Look at the Science of Persuasion, which highlight six researched factors that contribute to someone saying yes: reciprocity, scarcity, authority, consistency, liking, and consensus.  Many of these elements can boil down into two buckets: establishing credibility and building connections. 

With this in mind, let’s focus on aligning incentives. What do they want and how does that desire match up with what you want? Take a moment to get to know your audience. What do you have in common and what are your common goals? What are their desires? How can you demonstrate how your ideas will benefit them? Listen to your team and colleagues. In understanding your audience’s drives and needs, you can also take into account a key marketing element: timing. Are you offering the solution when there is a need for that solution? Is your expertise arriving at the right moment? At a certain point in leadership, your competency is there and your focus needs to be on building trusting relationships.  

Keisha Brewer’s Ted Talk can help you with Strategic Communication. She simplifies the seemingly overwhelming concept of communicating mutually beneficial proposals. She takes away the icky manipulation feeling around persuasive communication, and puts it into the light: communicating with purpose while showcasing value in order to achieve a goal. Through the principles she describes,  you are able to understand your audience, highlight the values of your position, and express the needs for those involved. 

Speak with Conviction and Intention

Most importantly, speak with conviction and intention. Get those “I think” and “Maybe we could” disclaimers out of your vocabulary. Your body language matters. Are you physically open and steady? For many people, nonverbal communication is an essential part of subconsciously understanding what is being communicated. A simple two minute change in your body’s posing can affect both other people’s and your own perceptions of yourself. A Power Pose is a powerful tool.  

Influence revolves around relationship building, knowing your strengths, and speaking from a place of intention and strength. Listening is truly the pivotal piece. For more information on that front, go to this edition of Your Future, Your Work on listening and inclusive leadership. 

Interested in more influence-building information? Here’s some recommended reads:

Influence exclusion often affects women more than men in the workplace. This article is an excellent resource on how women can build relationships in the workplace.  

Trying to build relationships in cultures that don’t do small talk? Every office culture is different and sometimes building relationships look different in different environments. 

 Influencing Up in the workplace is a powerful place to start.