You have power. Use it.
You are passionate about what you do and how you do it. You are invested in making a lasting, positive impact while being the best version of yourself…. Yet are continuously feeling stymied or overwhelmed with the day-to-day. Does this sound familiar? Making the difference you seek often requires dedicated self-examination, a clear roadmap to get there and support from someone who doesn’t believe the negative stories or fears you tell yourself.
Powerful people feeling powerless to make change
I recently spoke with a Chief DEI Officer at a large financial services firm with insufficient support. After a year into his role, his predecessor is still being looped into emails needlessly and being consulted on matters that reside under his purview. Although he is in the C-suite, he is finding himself undercut and unable to effectively lead due to legacy issues. I asked him, “why do you keep giving away your power?”
Sometimes this struggle isn't about what the organization needs, but what you need.
Another client is operating as a COO with a VP title. She stepped up into what was supposed to be an interim position and is now in a place of higher power and influence within her organization. Yet, she says she doesn't want to be the COO (for very legitimate reasons). What's stopping her from thinking critically about what she DOES want within the company and getting it? I asked her, “what do you want to do with your power?”
He’s giving his power away and she’s not using the power she has. Both examples are stepping away from action due to being in a place of fear. Stepping back to think through things objectively allows for clarity, especially around opportunity loss and risk assessment. By not asking for the necessary resources, you set yourself up for disappointment and frustration both in your personal needs and your organization’s success.
Leadership researcher and author, Ron Carucci commissioned a 10-year longitudinal study confirming that the most common misuse of power was to not use it at all. A full 50% of the people in the study drastically underestimate the power other people ascribed to them. The fear of power is a way of boxing yourself in and setting yourself up for failure. A failure of power is a strong leader frittering their power away.
You might be giving away your power if you:
Cannot clearly identify your values
Find yourself letting other people dictate your emotional state, or need validation from others
Worrying about “rocking the boat” (which is probably just asking for what you and/or your project needs)
Feeling out of control and exhausted
I want to emphasize that this is not an “all or nothing” situation. Micro-steps towards your own empowerment create more lasting and effective change than giant leaps into a new direction. This looks different to every person and may begin with avoiding giving away your power in the first place. There is help for this through professional coaching, mindful techniques, and centered reading. One book I’m excited about is coming out soon is Dr. Sharon Melnick’s In Your Power, which utilizes her decades of experience as a mental health researcher to help you step into your power.
Empowering yourself may be more personal. Financially positioning yourself to be able to step back when needed is incredibly important. A close friend and highly successful senior executive just recently stepped into her power by taking the time to look at what she wanted, and realizing how unhappy she’d been for years. She needed to make a change and for her, it meant doing so in a dramatic fashion. She’s taking some time off to travel and recuperate after years operating at 180 miles an hour.
I encourage you to step out of your own comfort zone and into a place of clarity. What does a first step look like for you?