How to take the awkwardness out of networking
For many, the idea of networking feels about as appealing as sticking a needle in your eye: uncomfortable, awkward, and best avoided. And this isn’t a feeling that’s limited to early-career professionals. Even seasoned leaders often share their distaste for networking.
And yet, the evidence is clear—establishing strong connections is a cornerstone of professional success. According to a LinkedIn survey, nearly 80% of respondents acknowledge its importance for advancing their careers. And they’re right! Research consistently shows that people with robust professional ties earn higher salaries and receive more promotions. So, while the discomfort is real, the rewards are undeniable.
The good news? Making new connections doesn’t have to mean wearing a name tag and making awkward small talk with strangers at a conference. In fact, some of the most impactful connections are built right within your organization. Internal networking fosters collaboration, builds trust, and spreads knowledge - creating a foundation for both individual success and long-term organizational resilience.
Not a pro at connecting with others? No problem. Networking is a skill you can learn. In fact, a recent study found that people of all ages, genders, and personality types can develop networking skills that accelerate career growth. Let’s break it down into manageable steps.
What’s holding you back?
Before you can improve your networking skills, it’s important to understand why it feels so daunting. Is it fear of rejection? Lack of confidence? Not knowing where to start?
Take Emily, for example. Emily has been with her company for 25 years, leading a team within a smaller division. She could greatly benefit from connecting with her peers in a larger division, but she hesitates. Why? Deep down, Emily doesn’t see herself as “equal” to her peers. She fears being a bother or, worse, being rejected. Her self-doubt has held her back from opportunities to share knowledge, collaborate, and build valuable relationships.
Sound familiar? Maybe you’re worried about imposing on others. Or perhaps you think your calendar is too full, or you simply don’t know what to say. Whatever the reason, it’s worth examining what’s stopping you because the rewards of networking almost always outweigh the risks.
Ask yourself: What beliefs might be holding me back from reaching out to others?
Start small and lower the stakes
Networking doesn’t have to feel like jumping into the deep end. That’s why I advise my clients to start with “low-stakes” connections—people who are easy to approach or already within your circle.
For Emily, that meant reaching out to colleagues on the same job level or reconnecting with acquaintances she hadn’t spoken to in years. A simple message like, “I was just thinking about you—how have you been?” was enough to revive old connections.
If that still feels intimidating, reframe your mindset. Instead of worrying that you’re bothering someone, consider how your outreach might help them. Emily shifted her perspective from “I’m imposing” to “I’m offering value,” which made her coffee chats and brief meetings feel more meaningful and productive.
These frequent, small deposits into her relationship bank helped Emily keep her connections strong. This is how you play the long game, as Dorie Clark says. If you consider how you can truly help the other person, you’re much more likely to show up authentically and for your relationship to be perceived as valuable.
Ask yourself: Who is a “low stakes” connection I can reach out to this week?
Know (and communicate) your value
Networking is a two-way street. To build authentic relationships, you need to understand and communicate your value.
Think about what you bring to the table. Are you close to the ground and able to share insights that decision-makers might miss? Do you have expertise in a specific area that could benefit others? When you know your strengths, you can position yourself as someone who contributes uniquely to the team or organization.
For example, highlighting recent achievements or aligning your work with organizational goals in conversations can demonstrate your value while fostering collaboration. Whether it’s solving problems, offering feedback, or brainstorming ideas, being clear about your contributions makes you a sought-after partner for future opportunities.
Ask yourself: What knowledge or skills can I share to support others?
At its core, networking isn’t about collecting contacts or impressing others. It’s about building genuine, mutually beneficial relationships that stand the test of time.
As Porter Gale famously said, “Your network is your net worth.” So, take that first step. Whether it’s sending a quick message, scheduling a casual coffee chat, or simply showing up for a colleague, those small actions will compound into a network that boosts your career and empowers you to make a greater impact.
The best part? Connecting with others isn’t just about what you gain—it’s about how you grow and how much you can give back to your professional community.